BABY DUCK SNORING. THIS WILL DESTROY YOU. →
So this guy was my grandfather
who I never knew, fell out with my dad in a big way, and was basically a bit of a love rat. I wish I’d inherited some of illustration skill though, apart from just a love of cats. Unrelatedly - I think I am hungover this morning but have yet to get vertical.
Washing down caffeine with more caffeine, while...
God I love rowing. Especially as i’m combatting manflu with an aggressive, excessive caffeine assault. Did I mention I like caffeine? And am in no way sitting in the local overground station watching it get light while shaking like a crazy person while wondering why TFL can’t install BLOODY CLOCKS TO PLATFORMS.
So I have a massive headache
which is hugely displeasing as I should be out getting Halloween jiggy. It may have been caused by hypoglycaemic shock, as watching Attenborough’s ‘Life’ over dinner with the boys resulted in a sugar overdose; LEAPING BABY STOATS. BABY DEER. BABY WOLVES. BABY ANIMALS. I have a disease. And to get up at 0600 tomorrow. Bleruuugh *rolls around in woe blanket*
Literally just nearly burnt the flat down
Keep all matches away from and pyromaniac baby pilots
Recent flat quotage
Indian guy from F, G and N’s biology course: So I’m going to send Ben this ‘your mum’ joke. Self: I had a comeback, but I left it in your mum. *Indian guy pisses himself* The Terminator (Austrian guy from above blodge course): What? My English is not sufficient. Indian guy: You know, come, right? *makes a wanking motion* You kind of had to be there but it was...
So I'm thinking of going as Uhura from Star Trek...
Any thoughts anyone?! I will be dyeing my hair brown-black again. Skin’s not quite dark enough, but I might go as like, vampire Uhura, or something. …too geeky?! XD
HOLY FUCK I HAVE JUST HAD THE STONGEST COFFEE...
Buzz = big. Which is good, cos it cancels out the fever. Off now to take the men’s senior eight out WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Jo PHONE IS WORKING TEXT ME LOVE CHOCOLATE HUGS BOYS AND PRETTY THINGS. xxx
So i just saw a book entitled 'Kafka in Paris'
and thought, ‘Damn, that’s something I’d like to see.’ Only Jo will get the full extent of this joke. *wink* So I have fresher’s flu, which, living with a high proportion of males, will shortly turn into manflu. Give me tea and sympathy. Read totally the wrong f*cking Chaucer text for the two hour Chaucer mission today. So I spent most of the time keeping stum...
Ok so we fraped Count G
epically. We changed his profile picture to a five-ton naked lady, his current city to ‘Willies, Liberia’, his status to something about his labia being as droopy as an old lady, his girlfriend to his daughter and made him like ‘FRANCE SUCKS.’ The funniest part? That everyone totally believed that his birthday was today and he got about a billion messages wishing him Bon...
So I nearly cut a mutha this morning
Because my sodding Uni card seems to have gone on strike, and apparently this is the second time it’s happened with this dude (frankly, they all look the same to me) and he was like, ‘Girl, you didn’t get this sorted at the *random uni building*, so I can’t let you in.’ I was already ten minutes late for the lecture. I am proud of myself because I: A) Didn’t...
Addendum to the last
- Google imaging baby animals, Bradley Cooper, Jamie Bamber, Matthew Macfadyen, Jack Davenport - Getting a sick, SICK pleasure out of playing Rule Britannia at loud volumes out of my headphnes.
Shit I have done instead of my essay
- Watched the entire first season of Kitchen Confidential. Bradley Cooper, GET IN MAH BED NAO. Also, Sulu, lulz. - Watched Disney films. - Wrestled/tickled/attacked/sworn at/poked/arse-weasled/generally waged war with Lord F. - Watched A LOT of friends. - Wrote slash. - Googled a lot of pictures of baby animals. - Listened to Disney songs. - Listened to some fucking trippy awesome remixes...
So we were talking about monkey willies
Because I mispelled the word incompetent. Lord F: Isn’t it ‘competant?’ Self: No see that’s what I thought, but Word spellchecker disagreed. Lord F: Well, what do I know, I just study monkey willies. Count G: We don’t study willy monkeys. Self: ….whut? Count G: Oh yeah. Monkeys’ willies. Lady N *proofreading the document I had just proofread*:DID...
It’s fine if you scrape off the colony.– Lord F, on eating mould pasta. This would not stand up in court.
On photos of baby zebras
Count G: Did it just come alive? Lady N:…Self:…you make it sound like a zombie. Self *fucked on caffeine*: So omg the baby zebra let’s go the zoo you said we could got the zooo the zoo NOW and have cocktails with the zoo late nights and all the animals wheeee Lord F: Never do cocaine, pills or MDMA. Self: So I’d give you an unspecified amount of money to get that...
You know essay crisis is well bad when
you voluntarily do the washing up. Or maybe not so much essay crisis so much as Flatland is FOOKIN cold and it’s a good way of warming up.
Re chesthair - Lolololololololololololololol. Send him a message on facebook saying ‘THE POWER OF THE ARSE WEASEL COMPELS YOU’, it’s hilarious.