launching 1000 ships

Am at home in the West Country (which I was going to abbreviate until I saw it said ‘WC’ and that’s a whole lot too accurate for my taste) and omg am going back to civilisation. The internet is such an enormous FAIL, the EFFORTS I have gone to download the latest Supernatural.

Well, bummed a ride with my mother to town to sit in a coffee shop and leech off their wifi while eating a very pleasant warm sandwich.

But still. Effort.

we

It’s like my body is the cage and Sam, Adam, lucifer and Michael are locked inside with Alistair coaching from the sidelines. Am not sure whether it’s the discovery of jaeger bombs or the PTSD from reading the 7.17 spoilers. Probs both.

RUN OUT of pro plus before social tour

There’s an entry in my planner reading ‘MISHA COLLINS UP IN HERE Y’ALL, RAISING YOUR SHIT FROM PERDITION SINCE WAY BACK WHEN.’ And then ‘Castiel’ in Enochian.

Also my last tutorial of undergrad. Ever. Fuck, that combined with the audience in the Hunger Games just makes me feel fucking old. I’m also getting sentimental in my old age - I was involuntarily moved to tears at one point in the film. It was a perfect Ackle’s OPT. I was embarrassed.

Thank God by about 1739 (we’re getting the train at 1737) I will be heinously drunk on the way to Birmingham with my crew buddies, on Rowing Social Tour. This state of drunkenness will continue until Sunday, at which point it will be a new world. Tumblr will have imploded. I will never have to avoid my department again. I will have a shitload of revision to do. There will be new!Misha to watch. 

So it’s totally the time to play AC/DC loudly and paint my nails with UV polish.

At advance screening of the hunger games. Suddenly feel as if I’m about eight years too old…(I’m 22)judging by the pitch if the audience.

A) Knitting a Persian cat. Goddamn it’s complicated.

B) Watching Supernatural s06e19. Is it just me, or there something distinctly odd about how Castiel shouts ‘shut your eyes’ just before angel mojo-ing the whole bar? It sounds very British. Not unlike when Misha Collins was taking the piss out of Mark Sheppard at Rising Con.

C) Any Minions/Supernatural fans reading this - where is best to interact with SPN fans on the ‘net? Livejournal? Tumblr? Basically I need to squee HARD with like-minded people and there just are NOT enough in my immediate circle…

What will I be doing?

 …but at least I’ll have some bomb-ass hangover watching material. Above is the graphic I designed for the social tour t-shirt…

Rocked up to Putney getting pumped, listening to Fort Minor’s Remember the Name.

Okay so not literally. Although one of my crew did ask me if I’d brought my catapult/peashooter. 

Crew rocked up and were in good spirits, heading almost instantly for the bacon stall. By this point I was subsisting on caffeine and rage, as is the coxswain’s normal state pre-head race. I headed to the Rock the Boat stall and picked up the Vet’s Head 2011 t-shirt for a discount.

Lady selling the t-shirts: You know this is last year’s t-shirt, right?
Me: Yeah. I survived that one, so it’s okay to get the t-shirt.

Boated with a minimal of fuss, and rocked up to the start line feeling good. Sun was shining, the crew was nearly technically perfect for a scratch crew (a mix of a small sculling school and Cerea, Italy), I was driving a beautiful Filipi called ‘Return of the Kings’ and we were very easily taking every crew also ambling up to the start. I was like,

As usual, for a big Thames head race there was some lol!coxing, with people who had no idea that yes, you can actually tuck into the bank on the Surrey side at high tide. Massive irritation from the slow crews stuck out in the outer/middle of the inshore zone. I was all,

But managed to retain a calm demeanour. Marshalling was somewhat hilarious, but not quite as hilarious as Quintin. There was the odd mini clusterfuck, but I we began the race with a working functional rudder, so was already a step up from my last head race….

Span into the start. 

 

Absolutely nailed the line. Which would have been fine, except from the second to the third bridge we had the longest overtake in history from the crew behind us.

Accepted overtaking policy? Boat overtaking matches the slower boat’s line, moves up directly line astern, slower boat moves aside into slower water, faster boat in faster water breezes past, slower boat resumes previous line in faster water.

Actual practice? Crew behind us doesn’t move into our line. I move over anyway but they effectively steer parallel to us for a ridiculous amount of the race, we were so evenly matched. Very stressful steering/coxing, especially when the COXBOX UP AND DIED. I was like,

But you know, shit happens and we got on with it. At which point, the overtaking finally gets a move on, overtakes, and then FUCKING CUTS BACK INTO OUR LINE TOO EARLY, SO WE END UP SCRAPING, BOW-TO-STERN, in spite of my frantic efforts (nearly full left rudder, ‘BOW SIDE FUCKING GO LIGHT’). Self:

However. The outcome of this was they ended up getting partially span off course and into the slower water. 

Them:

Which was pretty funny as a) was pretty much their fault (I will admit to not being able to get bow side to go light, as my fucking cox box was no longer for this world), and b) we could out-shout, out-rant and especially out-swear them as we had Italians on board.

However, we had more important shit to worry about. The racing line was clear.

Us:

So we hit the gas, shot Hammersmith Bridge, then had a textbook perfect overtake with Tyrian. That’s how you do it, and being overtaken by UL old boys?

 

We then spanked it all the way to the finish. The rain even held out until the end. Most amusingly, the boat that overtook us so crappily had fuckall idea about the racing in line, cutting that fatal corner at Fulham. It looks tempted, with the finish in sight, but the water over there is DEAD compared to actually following the stream. You can see crews murdered by it, and that’s pretty much what happened to them, I think - although by this point had head in the boat, coxing the guys through the wind-up and flying finish. Whoop whoop.

…in the interim of writing this post, results have gone up. We unfortunately DID get spanked by the crew that overtook us so badly, but on the other hand we spanked the crew we set out to (think old grudge), moved up six places from our start position and came in the top half of our category, with a scratch crew and no cox box. Boom.

All in all? Good fun, would do again.

 

You are my mummy so dear

We have such fun and such cheer

But I resent being told to say this

By dirty foul capitalists

I’d rather tell you each day of the year

There is no present money can buy

To show love in cash is a lie

So I give you a hug

And won’t spill tea on your rug

Clintons can eat shit and die.